Stop Letting Other People Tell You Who to Hate

A Thought Project

By Eric McQuiston

Somewhere along the way, some people (politicians, media, podcasters, late night hosts, comics, celebrities, musicians, pundits, and others including a relentless social media feed) decided to tell us who we should hate. Not a person that most of us even know personally, not someone who we have ever spoken to, or held a conversation with; but a public figure who's persona has been shaped and sculpted by his own actions and a hungry media. And many of us have accepted that characterization, good or bad, without a second thought.

But have you ever paused long enough to ask why?

Why should any of us be driven by a hatred that has been spoon fed to us by people we don't even know? Why should we feel joy when something negative, true or not, is said by one of these commentators who should have no real influence over our lives? Why do we celebrate every flaw, every insult, every meme as if we have personally achieved some validation of the hatred that has been cultivated within us in a cycle of self-affirming confirmation bias?

This habit of reflexive hate is not healthy. It never has been. Not for individuals. Not for families. Not for communities. And certainly not for a country that depends on its citizens having some measure of clarity and maturity.

You know who I am talking about.

Here is a man who looks out at cities overwhelmed by crime and decides to act decisively to put an end to lawlessness. That may not please everyone, but is the action itself so wrong? He sees American manufacturing fading into memory and pushes to revive it. He witnesses cracks forming in our military strength and moves to repair them and reinstitute pride. He watches respect for our nation diminish on the world stage and works relentlessly to rebuild it. He sees a flood of drugs and trafficking infesting the hometowns of our Country and takes steps to stop it. He brokers peace and partnership throughout the world, far beyond our borders. He envisions the future of not just our own Country but all of mankind and takes bold steps to achieve it. He pushes for investment, trillions of dollars, into our own economy, our own people, our own future. Not from us, not our hard earned tax dollars; from foriegn entities that used to be our adversaries!

Agree with every method or not, these are not the efforts of someone indifferent to the state of the nation, or the world we live in.

And yet, some of us have been conditioned to react with hostility to all of it. Some of us have grown so accustomed to the narrative of villainy that even good news feels suspicious. Many of us activly seek a flaw simply to feel better about ourselves. It is as if a winning coach is being booed by his own fans in the middle of a championship season.

The distortion runs so deep that our own national symbols trigger outrage. The flag, free speech, open discussion, things that once unified us, are now treated by some as threats. Worse still, many openly express the desire for harm, or even death, toward anyone who holds a different view.

How did we get here? And more importantly, how do we climb out of this pit of dispair?

At some point, we must ask what the alternative is. If you oppose law and order, what fills the space left behind? If you reject a strong economy, what vision takes its place? If you look away from crime, drugs, violence, and trafficking, what future are you welcoming?

Weakness is not compassion. Chaos is not freedom. Division is not progress.

You do not have to love the coach. But if the team is winning, maybe stop rooting for failure just to spite the person wearing the headset.

Hate and outrage is easy. It requires nothing of us. No thought. No reflection. No responsibility.

Dying your hair blue or shaving your head in defiance is not offering a solution. It's a cry for help. Dressing as cartoon characters, chanting slogans and banging on pots and pans is not actually going to accomplish anything. Commiting vandalism and violent acts is not going to gain any sympathy from reasonable people. These are the acts of spoiled children, not adults.

But respect for ourselves and each other, and love; love of country, love of community, love of possibility, offers more. It is the begininng of dialog and a conversation. It asks us to rise above the childish nonsense. It asks us to quiet the noise and turn from the voices that feed our anger and listen instead to the quiet conviction within ourselves.

Maybe, just maybe, the moment you stop looking for something to hate and begin looking for something to appreciate, you will find yourself feeling steadier, more grounded, and more hopeful.

And that is something no politician, pundit, or silly meme can give you.

That is yours alone.